robotchickenfandomcom-20200214-history
Transcription:Sawed by the Bell
the "Saved By The Bell" logo shows on the screen (in a similar fashion to its intro), and then we zoom by some snapshots of the torture bathroom from "Saw". The final one is of a surveillance camera that shows the main characters from the show (except Screech) sitting together, awakening, and chained up. Zack: (groans) Where are we - chained up next to Slater? This really is a torture chamber. (canned laughter) Slater: Wait, where's Screech? Jigsaw: (appearing in the sink's mirror on a TV screen) All in due time, children. Slater: You jerk-wad! Kelly: (demanding) What have you done with our friend? Jigsaw: If you really want to know... kids turn to a panel in the wall that flips around to show Screech also chained up by his arms and feet. Screech: Look at me; I'm Jesus! (more canned laughter) Lisa: In that case, God should demand a paternity test. (even more laughter) Jigsaw: Silence! In the center of the room is a red button. (the camera pans out to reveal the button close to the kids) Press it, and Samuel "Screech" Powers will be torn to pieces! (the audience groans at this comment) Zack: Why the heck should we do that? Jigsaw: Press the button, and I'll let the rest of you go free. (the audience groans again) Kelly: (offended) That's an impossible choice; you're sick! Jigsaw: Sorry (chuckles), but'' it's kind of my only hobby. '''Zack:' (musing) Wow, that is devious. (comes back to) Kind of wish I'd thought of that! (still more laughter) Jigsaw: The game begins..... now! '''(flashes away) '''Slater: If we push the button, we'll all go free! Kelly: Slater, don't even think about it! Screech: (desperate) Just press that button! You're my best buds, so save yourselves! (the audiences says, "Aww!") Lisa: Oh, Screech! Zack: (not convinced) Forget it, Screech. It's all for one and one for all! audience claps at this, and then Jigsaw comes back on the screen. Jigsaw: Children, I forgot to mention something. IF you press that button, you'll also win free Corvettes! Jigsaw flashes out of view again, the teens get up, start fighting, and press the button, but nothing happens. Zack: (angrily confused, pounding the button) Nothing's happening! Why hasn't he died yet? Screech: (panicking) Nooo! Slater: (frustrated, also pounds the button) Work, damn it! Jigsaw: '''Hang on, hang on! Stop hitting the button so hard! You're going to break it! '''Kelly: Make it work! Screech: (stupefied) I hate you guys! I can't believe I masturbated to Kelly and wanted to bang Lisa! You suck! ''(much more laughter) '''Slater:' Yo, f**k this button! Just give me a blunt object to beat him to death with! Jigsaw: (now scared) Stop, stop. Jus - just stop! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Whoa, whoa, w-w-wait a minute. ducks out of view, and then come back up to reveals himself as Principal Belding. Belding: It's me '''(laughs as the audience claps again),' Principal Belding! (the teens stare at him in shock) You're not really prisoners. This was just a trust exercise to help students learn to ''depend upon each other! Zack, Kelly, Jessie, and Lisa break out of their chains with force; then Slater starts banging Screech's head against the wall. Screech: Ah, stop! Stop! STOP! Slater starts to violently choke Screech, Zack breaks free and walk up to Slater. Zack: Just slit his throat! Kelly: Use my nail file! throws it, making blood splatter against the mirror. Belding: (freaking out) For the love of God! the school bell rings, we flip to a classroom, where Belding is watching the teens in dentention. Belding: Yes, Slater? Slater: So we really don't get Corvettes? Belding: (annoyed) No! Are there any other questions? starts raising their hands at once. Kelly: Me, me, me, me! Pick ME! Belding: Are there any questions NOT related to Corvettes?! Everyone: (disappointed) Aw, man! zoom to left, where Screech is shown bandaged up with his right arm in a sling. Screech: (close to tears) I f***ing hate you guys! end the sketch (and the episode), the show's logo appears again while a man sings out the title. After that, the credits begin to roll. Category:Transcriptions